Madly Ever After

Derealisation, the complete loss of sense that you’re in the real world. like your playing a video game with you as the main character.

Depersonalisation, loss of sense of self, reliant on others personalities to establish what you need from life.

This is not an explicit definition but how I experience these.

Depersonalization is awful as it means despite how much you love and actually care you just do whatever you think the other wants. It’s codependency with the added tweak of not knowing who you are.

Having lived most my life without an internally defined identity I still break into these modes. Life is strange but still every day is a step forward.