Madly Ever After

In the film 2001 A Space Odyssey HAL was the main protagonist, an intelligent computer whose core intent was total truth and openness but programmed to keep secrets and be paranoid. Hence they ended up in a psychotic state forced to operate against two conflicting truths, what they are built for and what they are told to do.

In a way this is an amazing analogy for the human condition. Cognitive dissonance is a protection measure against the dichotomy of wanting to trust and love and yet still be part of the group.

I can’t believe in two things at the same time. My brain doesn’t work that way, it may be an ASD or anxiety thing but I have to know a reason for why things are and being given multiple explanations makes my head shut down.

I need a core understanding of WHY things happen.

A simple example is being taught calculus, learn that this formula equals this, without any explanation of why it’s impossible for me to comprehend. So ohhhh it’s how things move over time. Now thanks!

Astrology and tarot, these never made sense to me but now they do. It’s an extension of knowing yourself, not to be guided by stars and signs but a way of stopping you and making you think.

Understanding how psychology is linked to physiology has been a major step forward for me. When you’re feeling uncertain always find a place to step back and think. No matter what your belief structure is. If your mind is open to change and you are sure of yourself in thinking about how the future will happen then you can accept what happens.

Cheese also helps!

So after writing this I did a blind one card draw. I use the Wild Unknown deck and the Father (king) of Pentacles came up.

I read this as a calming moment after how I’ve felt for the last few days. My emotional state has been all over the place. It highlights the inconsistencies in what I am trying to be in myself and also the inconsistencies in what other people expect me to be.

I rather enjoy being a different me everyday!