Madly Ever After

There have been days recently where I’ve felt like I’ve been losing myself, too many emotions and issues to deal with.

But with each of these setbacks I find myself more grounded to myself. I can’t cope much of the time but every time I get some breathing space I find the grip on who I am becoming ever stronger.

I am not who others want me to be but I am myself. Being true to yourself and being honest with yourself is so incredibly fucking hard

Everyone expects you to behave and respond in the way they want. They rarely just accept you to be as you are or ask you to explain why you are the way you are (sorry bad sentence).

I’ve realised after my recent breakdown that there are a lot more people out there who accept you for who you are rather than reject you. Many that don’t accept do not do this out of malice but just cannot process who you are as it’s so far beyond their experience.

I’m hugely blessed to have the most wonderful and beloved best friend who has helped me through my blunders and accepted everything I’ve said with equanimity and support and helped me far more than anyone I’ve ever known.

The biggest lesson I learnt from therapy is acceptance and trust. The next thing to implement is proper boundaries as these have been eroded and neglected due to all the other things I’ve been trying to process.

Slowly getting better each day but it’s an exhausting experience. Maybe I’ll have full function back in a week or so. I hope so.