Madly Ever After

Putting yourself back together after any sort of break down is so hard.

I have been dissociated in varying scales for so long it’s impossible to describe to anyone who hasn’t experienced it. It is definitely over a month since I had executive control, going by my laundry and kitchen sink.

If I was taking drugs or alcoholic this would be understandable but it is just my executive function being offline and I am purely reacting to stimuli rather than being proactive.

Making jigsaw puzzles in the dark. You can feel the shape of what should be an edge or a corner or a middle piece but have no idea how they should fit together..

Being has no picture to work with to make the whole, you constantly work with the bits that are wrong and chance occasionally gives you a bit that was right. And then you find the bit that felt right was put in upside down.