Category: Uncategorized
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Dissociation Diary
The last few weeks have been so fucking hard to deal with.It seems like every time I male progress in my life something comes along to kick it back down to the floor. The last week extra so. My best friend and the person I love most in the whole world has committed herself to…
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HAL 9000
In the film 2001 A Space Odyssey HAL was the main protagonist, an intelligent computer whose core intent was total truth and openness but programmed to keep secrets and be paranoid. Hence they ended up in a psychotic state forced to operate against two conflicting truths, what they are built for and what they are…
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Panic/Anxiety attacks
I’m using this to unload a massive panic/anxiety attack that is preventing me from sleeping. For anyone who hasn’t experienced these: my mind races, over analyses the situation, reworks solutions, comes up with more variations on what could happen, adds in the variations on outcomes, then reworks those, looking for any possible outcome when it…
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Fear
Do you ever get those moments when total paralyzing fear comes over you for no apparent reason. You get cold and start to shiver, with a deep dread in your soul. And you know that nothing’s wrong but panic comes. Self soothing fails.DBT skills fail. And writing it down suddenly takes the wind from fears…
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Sunshine sunburn and tarot
As a reminder I only use Tarot as a DBT support tool. There’s nothing more to it that for me.Because I’ve had some problems with my new boss at work and his behaviour is playing on my mind I’ve used this diversion to let me think in a different direction. Inverted Temperance. I’d set this…
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I may have done a good thing
This is a work, DBT, stress, and anxiety post. I’ve had to leave out a huge amount of detail so please don’t read into this any more than I’ve written. Had a long talk with a work mate today. A very long talk which I can’t talk to about people inside of work. For the…
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Work politics and keeping calm
I’ve changed my domain name and feel much better for it. A domain name for a blog is part of your identity and my old one jarred with me. Maybe there’ll be rainbows and unicorns as I build this site. My new manager at work. He’s an ok sort of person but I have no…
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Glassjaw – Dreams of Sex and Stage Diving
One of the best things in life is to go to a full on hardcore gig and then get home and connect one of our favourite bands with one of our favourite authors. I’d love to think Martin Miller was in the audience. Ears ringing, muscles singing, blood pumping. Oh how I’ve missed these nights.…
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pareidolia and painting
The boy and I had a technical painting class this evening and covered some areas we were missing out on as our paintings have been very desaturated. The main learn from this is to start from a mid tone rather than the blacks, don’t use complementary colours to blend, and remember that digital colour world…
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Last day of DBT ,,, for now
We’ve reached the end of our DBT sessions for now. The Boy and I are much happier and more connected than we’ve ever been. Now we have to practise these skills on our own for a few weeks and hopefully get on our hoped for intensive DBT course which may break through some of the…
Madly Ever After 